Words of Others
In the introduction to Brave Enough, Cheryl Strayed says, “I think of quotes as mini-instruction manuals for the soul.”
Her book goes on to comprise well over one hundred pages of quotation from sources across her writing career.
I have been a quote collector longer than I can remember. I return often to words that struck me over the years. Some slip out of influence, but many hold their capacity to guide and redirect my focus, to brighten my life. Strayed also says, “I believe in the power of words to help us reset our intentions, clarify our thoughts, and create a counternarrative to the voice of doubt many of us have murmuring in our heads.”
Words have power. That others’ writing can, in fact, clarify my focus and reset my intentions is a treat. My aim is to share the ideas that strike a chord for me. Some may speak to you. Some may lead you to another framing that helps you where you are today.
In this first installment, we dig into one beautiful bright green hardcover book:
Brave Enough by Cheryl Strayed.
“There are some things you can’t understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It’s good you’ve worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.”
Yup.
Most of what I thought I had figured out in high school was clearly less figured than I imagined. Same with college. And yet it worked out.
Examining our perspective is important. As is maintaining a firm awareness we may have it wrong. We may be doing our best and still lack the perspective to either see the bigger picture or to appreciate the challenges, limitations, or perspectives of others.
It is not always being right that counts. It is realizing you may be wrong, being okay with it, but caring enough to try to learn.
“We don’t reach the mountaintop from the mountaintop.
We start at the bottom and climb up.
Blood is involved.”
This short quote thrills me. Sometimes we misunderstand how much challenge and discomfort comes in the simple act of living. I appreciate when someone points it out in few words and a bit of colorful imagery.
We don’t have to think of life as hard or miserable. But, seeing the difficulty as part of the bargain may be healthier than expecting we can navigate between each possible misstep, that we can advance Frogger-style, and get to some imagined other side. Blood is involved. Expecting as much may make it a little less shocking when we see it run red through our life.
“Don’t surrender all your joy for an ideaa you used to have about yourself that isn’t true anymore.”
Phew. That one is a doozy. How often do we consider what we are trying to live up to? How did we come by that expectation? Is it still ours? Was it ever?
Sometimes we are living up to when living well and with presence would be even better.
“There are stories hidden in the language we use, whether we’re conscious of them or not. They tell the truth of our hearts and minds.”
How we talk about others. How we talk about ourselves. Both our sense of now and the way we handled challenge in the past. All of it has weight.
And what about the language we use in private conversation with ourselves? Likely our most important words are self-talk. Our biggest critic resides within. How do we talk to ourselves? How often are we what stands in the way? Either in the way of whatever we define as success or simply of our own happiness.
Hear your stories and begin to tell better ones.
“The particularity of our problems can be made bearable only through the recognition of our universal humanity. We suffer uniquely, but we survive the same way.”
A little open-ended, yes? How is it we survive the same, all of us?
By surviving. Persistence. We continue to try to learn, grow, support. Love and be loved. We suffer uniquely, but that doesn’t mean we do so alone. You don’t necessarily have to run to or lean on another in each setback. Sometimes, we can remain by ourselves without being alone.
“This is not how your story ends. It’s simply where it takes a turn you didn’t expect.”
Pandemic anyone? Vast and horrific inequality on nearly every front. Unrest and uncertainty. Political, economic, and climatic change.
Groups are wronged, but every group consists of individuals. Each person suffers uniquely, right? But, the scope of suffering—its vastness—weighs us down.
Are we experiencing a setback right now? Possibly. If so, the path forward may lie in how we tell the story. Because most things are outside our control. Maybe this is simply the turn you didn’t expect.
I will let Cheryl Strayed deliver us to something of an ending point. Maybe a to-be-continued where we plant a flag as we push upward in unique and unpredictable growth.
“This is not the moment to wilt into the underbrush of your insecurities.You’ve earned the right to grow.”