Josephina has been through this before.

She knows things won’t always come easy. Times get tough.  But, she also knows that she is prepared. She will adjust when necessary and she is confident in her ability to find solutions and make the most of what lies ahead. She has nurtured the support networks in her life that nurture her. She is predisposed to handle adversity.

Brad has gone through this, too.

It seems like every time Brad gets an edge, life smacks him back down. Dating always goes the same way. Badly. And his bosses never appreciate what he brings to the table. The guy can’t catch a break. He’s just waiting for the next disaster.

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

In a sense, people often live a life up to or down to their expectations. The self-fulfilling prophecy works for us or against us. No mere expectation is a guarantee of future events, but our outlook on both our capabilities and the role we play in shaping our life tilt things in a direction. And that tilting becomes significant.

Luck plays a role, true–subjectively labeled good or bad, though such clarity is not always so apparent. And factors like disadvantage, luck, or privilege dramatically unlevel a playing field. Still, we wield the most control over our responses. Over how we frame what happens around us. Whether we see life happening to us or for us.

The happiest or most secure people are not always the ones for whom the most things went right or the ones with the best stuff.

You don’t need to take my word for it. Look around you for examples. Who is willing to bounce back or change course? Who expects that there will be a way forward rather than ending up shattered by each setback? And who is a casualty of their own life, never expecting to catch that break, always waiting for the next calamity?

One question is which of these people do we want to spend time around?

The more important question is which one do we want to be?